Sometimes what you get is not what you want, and most of the time what you want is not what you get......
Sometimes you feel that you deserve more......
Sometimes you feel so empty inside, and no matter what you do you can't fill the void. You want to talk to somebody, but you're afraid that person is too busy and might push you aside. That would make you feel even more hollow inside......
Sometimes you just wish you were really close to someone you're comfortable with, who can relate to you and hear you pour out all your troubles......
Sometimes you just want to trust somebody......
Sometimes you feel so detached from reality that you're just floating around. Nothing matters, you're just in a suspended state of mind where you don't care......
Sometimes you stay up the whole night in your room, because your mind is still held onto reality......
Sometimes a tune strikes a chord, and you can't hold back your emotions, nor your tears......
Sometimes you feel happy for someone because that person succeeded. Sometimes you're self-destructive because you can't achieve the same, no matter how hard you try, no matter how good you think you are......
Sometimes you just feel so small, that you're not good enough, and there's nobody to support you when you fall......
Sometimes you're afraid that your hard work won't pay off, and all of it goes down the drain......
Sometimes you fear that you're losing that midas touch, that talent to do and make things right......
Sometimes the spark is just missing, and you miss the glaringly obvious......
Sometimes you feel that you're not living for yourself. You're living for others......
Sometimes, you're so uncertain of the future that all you see in front of you is a black hole, but no light at the end of the tunnel......
Sometimes, you doubt even your own judgment, your own principles, your own existence......
Sometimes, you hope for too much......
Sometimes, you hold on to the smallest things, and those things just isn't enough to sustain you......
Sometimes you feel like the walls are caving in, and your world's already in ruins......
Sometimes, you just don't have the will to pick up the pieces again......
Sometimes, your best just isn't enough......
Let the need drive the will, let the will guide the spirit, let the spirit fulfill the means, and let the means justify the end......~Zhongy~
_________________________________________________________
No. 20 - Zhong Yang.
6 comments
Sunday 20 May 2007
话，藏在心里，总是让人倍增伤感、无奈。但是若话说出口，却只会让别人更添烦恼，所以令我矛盾不已。有些东西，总是不能强求。现在最实际的行动，就是继续努力、奋斗。请你们不要为我的忧伤而忧伤。我需要的是别人的谅解，而不是无谓的怜悯。这是自己的坚强，还是心灵的脆弱，我早已分不清，也说不明白。最大的挑战就近在眼前，我却还在为此分心。但是让我有勇气挑战未来的，难道不就是这藏在心里的话？
开不了口
词:徐若瑄
曲:周杰伦
才离开没多久就开始担心今天的你过得好不好
整个画面是你想你想的睡不着
嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样还有在你身上香香的味道
我的快乐是你想你想的都会笑
没有你在我有多难熬(没有你在我有多难熬多烦恼)
没有你烦我有多烦恼(没有你烦我有多烦恼多难熬)
穿过云层我试着努力向你奔跑
爱才送到你却已在别人怀抱
就是开不了口让她知道
我一定会呵护着你也逗你笑
你对我有多重要我后悔没让你知道
安静的听你撒娇看你睡着一直到老
就是开不了口让她知道
就是那么简单几句我办不到
整颗心悬在半空我只能够远远看着
这些我都做得到但那个人已经不是我
1 comments
Sunday 13 May 2007
There comes a time when the fatigue finally catches up to you, when you need to tell yourself, "Hey, slow down, catch your breath. Take five before you push on." There's a limit to how much a person can take physically and mentally, a threshold before your system breaks down. Its important to know this limit, and to have the sense to stop before the point of no return. However, sometimes the situation just does not permit you to move down a gear, and you're forced to push on despite the fatigue wearing you down. The final few yards beckon, and you just want to get it over with before you stop. After all, another few steps won't hurt, isn't it? Just an extra 1/2 an hour, an extra jerk and heave, an extra burst of energy......
Add it all up......
WHAM!
Suddenly, the strain hits you like a sledgehammer. One blow is enough to knock you out. You're fazed, lying on the ground. You will yourself to get up, but your body doesn't respond. Your blood is pulsating, your mind is screaming, "COME ON!" but nothing gets through to the nerves in your arms and feet. Your senses feel numb, and you can hear your heart beating, yourartery thumping against your forehead, your breath heavy and deep. In a flash, bacteria overwhelms your immune system. You're
down. you're sick. You're out. First the flu, then the fever, then finally the cough settles into your throat. You know you've got work to do, but you're stuck in bed, broken, unable to carry on, out of commission for the next few days, even weeks. You curse yourself because you let it happen. It's your own fault. Should have known when to stop, shouldn't you? Now you're a mess, and nothing more, maybe even less.
When you finally recover, you promise yourself that it won't happen again. Next time, you'll hit the breaks before you hit the curb. But now, the work has piled up while you lie in the sick bay, feeling sorry for yourself. You're in a rush to complete it, andyour'e raring to go. Pretty soon, you're telling yourself, "I just recovered, nothing bad is going to happen to me now." and you press forward with the daunting workload. Yea right. The cycle repeats itself again soon enough, and you're caught in a loop. No way out, unless you learn your lesson. REST! STOP! SLOW DOWN WHEN YOU NEED
TO! NONE OF US WERE MADE TO BE UNTIRING ROBOTS! WE'RE HUMANSDAMNIT! STOP THINKING YOU'RE NOT! RELAX AND CHILL! YOU NEED IT!~Zhongy~
P/S Ok it sounds pretty emotional, but this is not directed at anybody. Felt that it was pretty good though after reading through it. Honestly some people just don't know how to stop. Hopefully this knocks some sense into them. Btw Happy Mother's Day:)
0 comments
Wednesday 9 May 2007
Again, and again, and again. Sorry guys for the late posts. Nothing's been happening that's been worth blogging about lately and I've been busy with exams, namely SAT and STEP. As the title suggests, I've been made a prefect AGAIN in KTJ. Announcement was made during yesterday's assembly (yeap I still have assembly even though I'm in college, complete with tie...), so I'm taking up the mantle again for the 10th year. Some milestone... right...
Anyhow SAT II last Saturday was fine I guess, though I still can't grasp the relativity concepts in Physics. Put it all down to studying last minute the night before! Oh well for all its worth I'm not that keen with US universities unless its Ivy League, and not all of them either. Prefer the traditional UK system rather than the more modern US one... And other than that I don't want to be constantly under the threat of being shot by some random nut in university. Heart-felt condolences to the 32 victims of Virginia Tech. I guess it just wasn't your day on April 16th. May you find peace on the other side.
Life's been kinda hectic these few weeks with afternoon extra maths classes with the indefatigable Mr. Finch almost everyday to prepare for STEP. I must say with the new prefect duties coupled with my other commitments in school, I'm starting to feel the strain on my shoulders. Hopefully I haven't put my fingers into too many pies. STEP is drawing nearer and so are my AS Exams, so its almost time to crack out the books, Frankenstein in particular. God my grades for Eng. Lit. are still fluctuating between B+ and B-. Though generally that's good for Mr. Suresh, it WOULD help if I could get a sniff of A-... Ish. Oh well you can't have everything in life... Otherwise my maths are fine and I'm not too worried. Giving my full concentration to STEP II papers now and hopefully I can score a grade 1 or S at my first go this June. If I do, it should help my university applications later in the year. I feel that in the aspect of studying I've kinda changed abit. Granted I'm still studying last minute for some subjects(!) but with mega-projects like STEP I've started my preparations since February. Quite unlike the old 'last minute for everything' me I guess haha.
Since the title is about prefects, I'm going to talk a little about responsibilities here with the limited free time I have. Some people take those seriously, some people don't. Well I admit that maybe I've been a little rigid in the past, but through my experience it has always been better to be flexible with the rules, bending them according to the situation. Rules are not necessary the gospel truth, and some are just too petty to be followed, even enforced. However as the so called 'enforcers', prefects have an obligation to follow the book strictly. Lets face it. We're role models, and if we don't follow the rules, nobody's going to follow the rules or pay attention to our 'enforcement'. Its pretty much simple logic actually. 'Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?'--Juvenal. Who will guard the guards? Nobody. Unless we can exercise self-control, then we are unfit to be the guards of the rules.
Anyhow, life creeps on at its petty pace from day to day for me. Somehow it doesn't seem petty now, rather flying through without brakes. It's amazing how time flies at KTJ. Maybe the monotony of KTJ has finally crept in... Ugghh... Oh well, back to work and minimal play, but never will I adopt the name Jack or be a dull boy. Jack Chan? Yucks! I much prefer Zhong...~Zhongy~
0 comments