Hey guys there's nothing much happening at my end. My holidays are going to start soon - 30th March to 15th April (YAY!) so I'll be around in Malacca at this time haha. Anybody who's free please look me up. Don't feel like bringing much work back even though exams (horror!) are in May and June (gasp!). Haha anyhow please do drop by and keep in touch. Decided to do something different this time around. This is a poem in my English Literature syllabus which I feel is quite meaningful at this period of my life. It basically sums up my current emotions. I know the last few posts had been quite depressing but I'm kinda going through a bad patch in my life now. For those who can't bear seeing me like this, I'm sorry but please bear with me for the moment. Hopefully things will take a turn for the better soon. At least I'm praying hard for that. For now, this is the poem:
I Am
I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost,
I am the self-consumer of my woes -
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love's frenzied, stifled throes -
And yet I am, and live - like vapours tossed
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
Even the dearest, that I love the best,
Are strange - nay, rather stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes, where man hath never trod,
A place where woman never smiled or wept -
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling, and untroubled where I lie,
The grass below - above the vaulted sky.
John Clare
Hopefully I don't get sued for publishing this here haha. Anyhow yea that's it this time. I'll try to write more when the holidays come. Cheers people, I hope all of you don't need to feel what I've gone through. ~Zhongy~
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Sunday 18 March 2007
Ahaha, so the SPM results are out. This time around, the cries of sorrow are louder than the voices of jubilation. Sure, there are top scorers with straight A1's, but most people around me end up feeling unsatisfied, even cheated of their hard work. Yours truly scored 9 A1's, 2 A2's (Chinese and Moral) and 1 B3 (Biology!). To tell all of you the truth, I'm quite satisfied with this result, except for the Chinese A2. Thought I done good enough to deserve an A1, but o' well, you can't have everything you want in your life.
With all the hype surrounding another record breaking feat, my heart felt condolences go to Nadiah Amirah Jamil, our unfortunate Batu Pahat girl who was suppose to achieve 19A1's. With all the news reports, she was lured into a false sense of joy that she was poised to be the next record holder. Imagine the sorrow and shame when reality knocked on the door. Her emotions must have been disastrous. Though I personally do not approve of people taking so many subjects, I feel that she deserved better than this outrageous treatment from the media. This is just another classic example of false reporting by our local newspapers, and I seriously feel that a formal apology is dued.
With all the noise made over the number of subjects which candidates attempt during SPM, I'm here to offer my two sen's worth on this issue. Over the past years we've seen candidates attempt 9-19 subjects, and some of them actually do very well. The current record is of course held by Nur Amalina Che Bakri, with 17 A1's. The Ministry Of Education states that the maximum number of subjects which a candidate can attempt is 21, so our top scorers are not much off the mark. Unless the MOE decides to cap the number of subjects, I predict that we'll soon see a candidate score the maximum 21 A1's. However the question is, is it worth the effort?
Well the candidates themselves might argue that the more A1's the better. If its within your intelligence to score more, then why not? After all, the more A1's you achieve, the better your chances of getting a scholarship. While I can see the point in this, I'm not very convinced with the scholarship part judging from what has happened in the past years. Scholarship bodies have refused to award their coveted prizes to people who fail to score straight A1's, even though the number of A1's achieved are more. This meaning a candidate who scores 15 A1's and 1 A2 are considered worse than a candidate who scores 8 straight A1's. Again I fail to see the rationale in this policy. It seems 15 is less than 8 nowadays in Malaysia. So actually it would be better to attempt less subjects but score all A1's rather than attempt more subjects but miss out on the A1's on a few subjects.
Another factor to consider is actually the real aim of the Malaysian Education System. To quote the National Education Philosophy, 'Education in Malaysia is an on-going efforts towards further developing the potential of individuals in a holostic and integrated manner, so as to produce individuals who are intelectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically balanced and harmonic, based on a firm belief in and devotion to God'. With a huge ammount of subjects to study and revise, I wonder if candidates attempting a big number of subjects are in line with the philosophy. To me, producing a well-rounded person is much more important than producing top scorers who only excel in academics. With so much emphasis placed on exam results by the MOE, it is small wonder that more and more candidates are attempting more and more subjects. The exam-orientated education system is slowly defeating its own purpose. Yes, there are exceptional people who can manage to score their A1's and have fun at the same time, but still, how many of these people are there? In most cases candidates will just study, study and study to achieve the maximum number of A1's. After all, you can't deny that an all A1 result ensures a good tertiary education possibly overseas in a course of your choice. We must be realistic. Not every parent can afford that for their children. However, the time taken to study for extra subjects can actually be put to better use for development in other parts of the candidate's life. Let's face it, life is more than getting straight A1's. There's a big difference in being educated and just excelling academically, not to suggest that its not important haha...
They say that numbers don't lie, and our candidates this year achieved almost 1000 straight A1's and 4000 straight A's. Oh joy for the politicians, aren't our candidates wonderful. With these results, you would have thought that Malaysia was producing a truckload of geniuses every year. However, somebody remarked that 'if the education standards in our school continue slipping, in future our graduates will be working as maids in foreign countries'. While it is hard to believe this now, this situation is already happening in the Philippines and Nepal. The numbers do not represent the calibre of our candidates as the results are based on graphs and the graphs are drawn by politicians. Our education system had become interwined with politics, free to be manipulated by politicians at their own whim. I'm firmly opposed to this system, and I believe that any education system should be independent of politics like the judiciary system. When you talk education, you are talking about the future of the younger generation and effectively the future of the nation. With the ammount of tinkering being done by politicians, is it any wonder that the people are starting to lose hope? God people are starting to encourage their children to leave the country 'and don't come back if you can'.
With the dire predicament back home, I'm starting to have my doubts on returning too after university. I love my country enough, but if things continue downhill, there will be nothing left to love. Still, with a bit of luck, maybe things will make a turn for the better. It might be wishful thinking, but I'm hoping it'll come true for the sake of the country. God knows how much we need a real revamp in education, so keep your fingers crossed my fellow Malaysians. Malaysia Boleh! Let's pray that its really true... ~Zhongy~
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Tuesday 6 March 2007
何谓强者？我素来认为，强者既是有能力超越自己的人，因为只要能超越自己，就能超越别人。
最近，只觉得自己的能力似乎遇上了瓶颈。无论是教室内，或是在球场中，笔触间，钢琴上，自己仿佛失去了进步的能力。回想往事，我也是经过了一番奋斗努力，才拥有今天的成就。但是现在不管自己多么努力付出，还是看不见自己的能力有所提升。没错，我在各方面还是跑在最前线，但看着身边或身后的同道不停地向前迈进，自己的步伐却好像呆懈了。
＂每个人都有着无限的潜能。＂那一向都是我自己的信念。但是事实如今摆在眼前，却不得让我怀疑自己是不是到了极限。自己的技术，或是自己的创作能力，如今撞着了一面高墙－－不能前进，反而露出了退步的迹象。以往被自信添满的心，现在逐渐空虚。自己每天好像一位面临溺水的人，在水里不断地挣扎，拼命寻找救命的树枝。
我知道自己被上天赐给优厚的天赋。回忆自己最盛之时，亦曾自称为＂天之娇子＂。但是如今，就算是努力配上天资，我还是撞不倒眼前的高墙，冲不破能力的瓶颈。自己是不是已经达到了极限？若曾的如此，我要怎样，才能超越自己的极限，重释信心，再次成为自己心目中的强者？
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Saturday 3 March 2007
~The events in this post precedes the last and was written before that. However I've decided to do the seventh first because it was the seventh post. So sue me haha!~
Hey guys sorry for the late posts. I was busy with Forensics for the past two weeks so I'll try my best to blog as much as possible during this one week break. Anyhow before I start please allow me to wish everybody a Happy Chinese New Year! May all of you be blessed with hope, health and happiness through out the boar year!
Forensics: 'connected with the scientific tests used by the police when trying to solve a crime' (Oxford Advance Learner's Dictionary); 'a wordplay on deciphering the meaning in words and speeches, phrases and prose'; 'an unforgettable experience'. For the uninformed, Forensics is a competition comprising of seven categories hosted by the KL International School (ISKL) annually. This includes Oral Interpretation, Original Oratory, Debate, Impromptu Speaking, Extemporaneous Speaking, Solo Acting and Duet Acting. As yours truly is totally hopeless in all the other events, I decided to have a go at the debate competition. Forensics debate is an American style debate with teams of two going up against each other. The resolution of the year was 'A just government should provide health care for its citizens'. My partner this year was another freshman in KTJ, Kevin Erazon Dickman (yea, cool name haha). The other team was a pair up between Isaac and Alison.
What preceded the actual competition was three weeks of research, research AND research! We scoured the Internet looking at numbers, facts and studies. As it was a new format of debate for all of us, we also struggled with new terms and jargon ranging from 'contentions' and 'value criterion' to the obscure like 'burden of clash' and 'burden of proof'. Hilarious mock debates ensued between the two teams a week before the competition as we tried our best to familiarise ourselves with the different format. You know that you're in for a joyride with the debaters when you hear things like 'ignorant people should all die!' (Quote: Kevin) and 'some health care is not health care!' (Quote: Isaac). However there were also serious discussions that kept us up as late as we were allowed to (11:30!) and by the time the competition arrived, the debaters can be easily distinguished by their sullen eyes and sick looking faces. Extra sympathy goes to Alison who was also taking part in Impromptu Speaking.
The three actual days of competition at ISKL, 14th-16th February (yep, it started on Valentine's Day), seemed like a blur of shouting, laughing, cursing, more researching and McDonalds. We went there confident but prepared for the worst. This was it. Judgement Day. Apocalypse. When the dust settled, the debaters actually did fairly well. Both of the teams won two ties out of four each, which is a 50% scorecard. Even though we didn't get into the quarter-finals, it was a pretty good result considering we did everything on our own and pieced together a decent effort in three weeks. In between our debates we managed to catch some of the other events and lend some support to our fellow team members. On the final day, KTJ actually had 10 finalists in various events and we were poised for a record breaking feat this year. Final haul was 1 gold, 2 silver and 1 bronze, courtesy of Sangheetaa (Solo Acting), the duo Faiz and Nadzra (Duet Acting), Jonathan (Oral Interpretation) and Stirling (Original Oratory). The icing on the cake was when KTJ was announced as the winner of the Sweepstakes Trophy. It was only fitting that our beloved mentor, Ms. Carol was the one to receive the coveted trophy on stage amidst cheers and claps from everybody.
Looking back, I realise that it was really the process, rather than the competition itself that justified the experience. It is much more about putting in the hours of practices rather than finally going on stage and delivering your piece. At the end, everybody is a winner (yes, its cliche I know but its true!) because everybody gave their best at the competition. The standards were so high you needed to be towering to be above others. I look forward to next year's 30th Forensics competition with great anticipation. Hopefully I'll finally manage to win something haha. ~Zhong~
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