I never thought it would ever had happened... Losing control, I can't even remember when was the last time my emotions got the better of me. Pain coursed through every part of my body, through my blood, blinding my soul. I could hear my heartbeat, my pain resonating with its pulse... My heart was tore apart, and for once I gave in to my emotions... The tears couldn't stop flowing, but it didn't heal my pain... I finally realise that nothing, not even the sound of the piano, not even the ink from my brush, could take away how I feel. Instead, it accentuated my feelings tenfold, with the momento now hangs on my wall... And yet, in all this pain and suffering, there was a feeling of relieve... The dam of emotion, broken to allow the flood to flow... Too long I have suffered beneath a smile, and the overriding emotions now brought me to my knees... There was no more reasoning, no more reality, no more self-control. Memories, both of joy and sorrow, flashed in front of my eyes. Two years, and yet nothing has changed... All the feelings came together in a whirlwind of emotion, sweeping my soul away... A simple text message, and yet how much laid behind those words... How much I wished for deliverance from this pain, this sorrow that I felt, and yet it would not come... In truth, nothing could help, save one, but I knew it would never come... I prayed for it to pass quickly, and it slowly drained away, losing its grasp on my soul...
I shudder to think of what had happened, and I fear it would happen again... There was no indication that it would not repeat itself, for while I still try to live behind a veil, it would not go away... The pain and sorrow is still there, growing stronger with each passing day, manifesting itself on my soul... I could never control my feelings for others, and while this feelings still last, while nothing will change, the pain, the sorrow, will always be there....
Martyrdom, maybe it was meant to be my destiny...
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